Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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