He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
