I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
