I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
