Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
