Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
worst night to have a conscience
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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