gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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