when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
