My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
