I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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