Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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