Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
