Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
