i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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