i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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