there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
