in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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