i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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