Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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