Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
