When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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