So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
