did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
