No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
