You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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