you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
