New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
