i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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