The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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