You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
