Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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