Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
