Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
