My cat gives me a boner
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
