She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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