omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
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He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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