she smelled like a LAN party
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
