I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
