Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
