I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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