I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
