Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
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Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize