eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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