Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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