Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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