I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
