Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
