If i come over, it means nothing
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
