yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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