laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
