I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
