Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
