you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
