there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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