True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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