You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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