ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
