i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
