I CAN MOONWALK!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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