my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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