And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
